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"President Alvaro Uribe, alleging Tuesday that some paramilitary forces want to kill him, warned that the government would annihilate the outlawed militias unless they abide by a cease-fire and stop trafficking in drugs...Uribe's sharp comments came as power within the right-wing paramilitary groups appears to be shifting to members heavily involved in drug trafficking..."

I won't even say I hate to say I told you so- but there it is...
http://ap.tbo.com/ap/breaking/MGAAF2Z8KTD.html

not so funny- check out the body in the wheelbarrow photo near end of article- happy cocaine, everybody!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/3626039.stm

4/8/04 - new fotofunny @
http://www.lobsterchuckles.netfirms.com/funnies10.html

some good news from the front, as it were--
http://ap.tbo.com/ap/breaking/MGATSGOTLSD.html

meanwhile, closer to home [by a strange sense of nostalgia, not geography], a "time-honored classic con" plays itself out in an echo from "Old Florida"...
http://ap.tbo.com/ap/florida/MGAQ632NKSD.html

3/27/04 - The BadgderLog's Site of the Month Award! one of those sites that speaks for itself! lotsa mud, trucks, jeeps, and rednecks from all over the world!
http://www.truckworld.com/Stuck-Of-The-Month/stuck-trucks.html

whoa! talk about a bad day! "I thought it was just a log," she said. "Then I saw his head, his teeth on my leg. ... It was vicious."
a warning about tooling along in a pickup with the tailgate down, through possibly gator-infested swamps..."Compton's husband, Jim, jumped out of the cab, but quickly jumped back in when the alligator charged him."
http://ap.tbo.com/ap/florida/MGAUHJOH8SD.html

oh yeah! " As for the American machines, they specialised in demolishing the living hell out of each other in one-on-one robot combat."
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/3564553.stm

"zombie agents"- yes, you too, have a slumbering "zombie within"-
http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/features/20040324-9999-news_lz1c24zombie.html

[oldnewz] and they said it wasn't true--
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/3524444.stm

incest, polygamy, psychotic behavior-- this one has the makings of a really WEIRD story--
http://ap.tbo.com/ap/breaking/MGANVSGBVRD.html

ahh, a twisted tale of how unbalanced individuals sometimes react to the myths surrounding vampire slayers-- tragic, really, unless, of course, the victim turns out to actually have BEEN a vampire [oops! don't want to start another copycat riff here-- REALLY, there are NO SUCH THINGS as vampires, zombies, werewolves, etc. *wink*]...
http://www.wtev.com/news/local/story.aspx?content_id=3E0A7490-EBE4-42F1-8609-CCC615D9B71E

3 new fotofunnies @
http://www.lobsterchuckles.netfirms.com/funnies10.html

real children should NOT be mistaken for "Cabbage Patch Kids"--
http://ap.tbo.com/ap/florida/MGALASRNBRD.html

ho ho ha ha hee hee- that old "Baby Doc", he sure is a wacky kinda guy-- "Papa Doc" was a monster, from what I recall, and "Baby" wasn't much of an improvement-- does he REALLY think those people want to trade one set of miserable circumstances for [yet] another? I would think they'd like an end to all these thug/strongmen types in the seats of power in Haiti...  "'His dictatorial regime was responsible for thousands of political killings and arbitrary detentions,' Brody [Reed Brody, special counsel for Human Rights Watch] said "It would be such a step back for Haiti to have Duvalier play a role in Haitian politics.'"
http://ap.tbo.com/ap/florida/MGAHMDOACRD.html

whew! again-- luckily, I was merciful- stupid b**** didn't know who she was messing with-- luckily for her, I've got more important, and better things to do, than to cut up some dumb v.v.C.*-- speak to me like that while I'm waiting for my change in a lunchline, and you might just get your throat cut [edited 3/4/03- or get your worthless tongue cut outta yer head]...
* - you prob'ly don't want to know...

who do these people think they are? "a kinder, gentler incarceration system?" -- "A supervising guard at a juvenile jail told a dying teen to 'suck it up' as the boy retched, wept and moaned from stomach pain... 'Ain't nothing wrong with his ass,' one nurse said... 'How in the hell (should) I know?' he says he replied. 'All I know is something is wrong with him.'  And she stated, 'I'm coming down there, but I don't want to take this (mess) home to my kid...'"
http://ap.tbo.com/ap/florida/MGAOIR5M6RD.html

..."stolen or missing blank passports, which number in the hundreds of thousands and allow terrorists to breeze across borders..."
not such a comforting thought--
http://ap.tbo.com/ap/breaking/MGA48YDO6RD.html

this ain't no outback strip club--
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/3493408.stm

http://ap.tbo.com/ap/florida/MGAUWT354RD.html

http://ap.tbo.com/ap/breaking/MGANI1V44RD.html

http://ap.tbo.com/ap/breaking/MGAYQB644RD.html

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/3515267.stm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/3487472.stm

" A voodoo priest rubbed oil on rebel leader Buteur Metayer's head yesterday in a symbolic ceremony for protection...
Historically, Haitian revolutionaries including independence leaders Toussaint Louverture and Jean-Jacques Dessalines also sought guidance from voodoo priests before battles...There are a lot of guys here who were tortured by the police," said student leader Michel Kerby."
http://theaustralian.news.com.au/printpage/0,5942,8674016,00.html

some spooky stuff as "food for thought", background, etc.
http://www.webster.edu/~corbetre/haiti/voodoo/islam.htm

more cocaine'n'NFL starznewz--
http://ap.tbo.com/ap/breaking/MGA8V7K24RD.html

hey! maybe there is some hope for India-Pakistan relations, seeing as a lot of the problems arise from the socio-religious & cultural differences between Hindu & Muslim-- I certainly hope so, especially after all the posturing, saber-rattling, and nuclear "tests" a couple of years ago...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/3485410.stm

ahh, guess that's about it, for tonight-- I'm kinda tired...

"There were scenes of anarchy and jubilation as teenagers paraded in police hats and body armour and beer-drinking rebels handed over car keys to residents, the Associated Press news agency reported."
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/3511829.stm
and, for the latest from the cannibal front, here are a couple of other links--

"...rebel leader Guy Philippe said he was setting his sights on the capital, Port-au-Prince... his fighters, clad in camouflage uniforms and black flak jackets, sat by the hotel pool in lounge chairs, drinking beer and eating dishes of goat, chicken, rice and beans."
http://ap.tbo.com/ap/breaking/MGA879WVZQD.html
&
http://www.guardian.co.uk/worldlatest/story/0,1280,-3778503,00.html
& a longer, more reflective, "think piece"--
http://www.worldpress.org/Americas/1812.cfm

not forgetting other portions of the 3d world, where gruesome is de rigeur, and horrid brutality is the "order of the day"-- 1st, from Honduras--
"His assailants had gouged out his eyes, cut off his ears and nose and removed his heart, police spokesman Ivan Mejia said. His head was wrapped in a red shirt and stuffed inside a plastic garbage bag."
best understatement by a police spokesperson I've come across in a while--
``We're dealing with another macabre discovery,'' Mejia said.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/worldlatest/story/0,1280,-3778368,00.html

next, we travel to Uganda-- Idi Amin Dada may be dead and gone, but his spirit lives on--
"Most of the victims were burnt in their huts where they had taken refuge during the attack..."
http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2004-02/22/content_1325933.htm

& Colombia, where [un]civil war is a daily occurrence--
http://www.guardian.co.uk/worldlatest/story/0,1280,-3778584,00.html

21:45pmCST- this just in-- a real lead, or just another piece of bad intel? could we really, finally, be this close to OBL?
http://quote.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=10000087&sid=awJVc6Kiq75c&refer=top_world_news

lighter side of the news? go pick a story for yourself--
http://www.buzzpage.com/

well, you see, you've got your right-wing cocaine, and then you've got your left-wing cocaine-- it all comes from the same place, and it all funds violence against peasants-- the rustic natives, not the birds-- not to mention all the OTHER nasty problems-- (police & political corruption, crime in the streets, random acts of psychotic violence, people stealing from friends & family, going "over the edge" -- you know, the litany of things that illegal drugs get blamed for)-- that arise from "too much of a good [smirk] thing..."
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/3505327.stm

in the lighter side of the news-- well, I can't do anything better with this, so I'll just lead you into it with the posted title--
"Police Help Restore Calm After Midget Brawl Erupts."
http://www.thestar.com/NASApp/cs/ContentServer?pagename=thestar/Layout/Article_Type1&c=Article&cid=1077318610598&call_pageid=1044442959412&col=1044442
[alrite, so it's actually about teen-league hockey, but the title was just TOO good to waste...]

when your "15 minutes" just wasn't enough, hire teenagers to "front" for your aging rock band--
http://abcnews.go.com/wire/BackPage/reuters20040220_136.html

Cowboy Slim sez, "That there is no mad cow, that cow is a gen-u-wine HEE-ROH!"
http://abcnews.go.com/wire/World/ap20040217_1153.html
these cows, however, were unwitting pawns in a tale of intrigue, vote fraud, and false residency reportage...
http://www.news-journal.com/news/content/news/ap_story.html/National/AP.V8723.AP-Bovine-Voters.html;COXnetJSessionID=A1xGzektDdSghiU0mYXxNcgEe9NRLcCz1Da9DK7gMj6b0U2w0Auz!349256955?urac=n&urvf=10772279741370.38299556238617605

no rest for wildlife officers-- "The mutilated remains of a large male bear were found Feb. 8 next to a boat ramp... Rewards totaling up to $6,000 are being offered for information leading to an arrest in the poaching..."
http://ap.tbo.com/ap/florida/MGAH5SEBVQD.html

favorite bad pun from headlines for the day-- "Butcher makes mincemeat of robbers"
http://www.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,4057,8727827%255E13762,00.html

"Mommy's just got to run to the bank to make a quick withdrawal... I'll be back before Daddy gets home from the precinct... you kids be good."-- explain THIS to your watch commander at roll call the next morning...
http://ap.tbo.com/ap/florida/MGALXWX8VQD.html

2/15/04 - new fotofunnies page, 3 new items to start it off, @
http://www.lobsterchuckles.netfirms.com/funnies10.html

SPACE SCIENCE NEWS--
yet ANOTHER triumph for the Hubble/Keck telescopes-- one more "most distant object"...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/3490657.stm
& the official NASA site--
http://hubblesite.org/
& a cool set of pages containing daily postings of the raw images from BOTH Mars Rovers--
http://marsrovers.jpl.nasa.gov/gallery/all/

when kite-flying goes HORRIBLY WRONG-- "A young girl's throat was slit by a stray metal kite string stretched across a road..."
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/3491057.stm

"Barbie & Ken Call It Quits, Aussie To Make the Scene!" ha ha! maybe GIJoe should show up and let her know what a REAL man is...
of course, she'd prob'ly want him to stop eating meat, get a manicure, speak with an "image consultant", and turn in all his weapons to local law enforcement, AFTER paying for her Malibu Beach House to be re-modeled & re-decorated... ha ha! she'd prob'ly even try to get him to submit to a "Queer Eye" makeover! Let the carnage begin!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/3484949.stm

2/07/04 - wonderful![sarcasm intended] "The rebels in the city are former members of the pro-government Cannibal Army militia..."
[see BadgerLOG for 2/01/04 for more "Cannibals In The News"] a spate of voodoo slayings is to be expected, & dark rituals involving chickens, human bloodlust, and boiled body parts being served to sporadically-attacking zombified adherents, prior to their hurling themselves in waves against local authorities attempting to re-assert control...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/3469363.stm

hooo-boy! a case where chickenlittle had it backwards-- it's not the sky that's falling, it's the birds falling from the sky! exaggerated reporting, or maybe an instance of "the bramblings that knew too much...", and they dropped dead from it-- hmmm? canary in a coalmine theorism, ennyone? or maybe the authorities are correct-- more likely poison-- how do you poison upwards of 10,000 wild birds? or perhaps avian flu is being under-reported, much like SARS was at 1st, last year?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/3465565.stm

WHHOOOEEE!!! Whattaride! Now, iffen I had to tell you about this, the story would have to begin with the word "miasmic"--
to describe the misty, foggy mass of humidity that confronted me when I headed into the nearest burg... I was praying to our Lord & Savior, Jesus Christ, all the way, hoping that an idiot drunk, or crazed crackhead, would NOT jump out in front of me in the midst of my errand... one of the guys at the convenience store where I finally stopped was in the cooler, stocking our libations and refreshements, and I quipped to him, "... remember the 7 dwarfs! Whistle while you work!" We all had a muted chuckle over that... on to the weird and offbeat news that presents itself, @ the moment[s] I write these words, as the gathering fog mutes all but the billowing smoke from the stoked fire in the workhorse ironstove, installed in the old fireplace by my late Father-- Thanks, Dad!

well, I hate to admit this, but, since I didn't really care, one way or the other, about the outcome of Sunday's Big Game, all I caught was Kid Rock's abbreviated set-- that's right, I tuned out just as Janet Jackson was taking the stage-- imagine my chagrin when I found out later what took place! but the local DA sez itz alrite--
http://www.click2houston.com/sports/2812711/detail.html

back to automotive and related news-- “It had a mind of its own,” 20-year-old Angel Eck said Sunday.
http://msnbc.msn.com/id/4134916/

and in slightly more bizarre wild weather driving news...
http://www.fredericksburg.com/News/apmethods/apstory?urlfeed=D80F4G781.xml

presidential candidate driving news--
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/news/archive/2004/02/01/politics1953EST0597.DTL

not a cousin of Winston Churchill's parrot, or the verbose one reported in last week's news, I'm guessing--
http://www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems/s1036447.htm

other pissed-off animal news--
http://www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems/s1036567.htm

this is fun, so far--
http://dsc.discovery.com/fansites/amchopper/amchopper.html
http://www.orangecountychoppers.com/
and don't forget Jesse!
http://www.westcoastchoppers.com/
here's one my buddy Willburr [not his real name, of course] turned me on to--
http://www.hotrodscustomstuff.com/

a few new favorite comic strips--
http://comics.com/comics/getfuzzy/index.html
&
http://comics.com/comics/pearls/index.html
&
http://www.ucomics.com/captainribman/
&
http://www.ucomics.com/poochcafe/
well, okay, to be entirely honest, I've been following "getfuzzy" & "captainribman" for a while, but hey, this is the 1st time I've posted links to them on my site, so-- what the hey!? and don't forget--
http://www.redmeat.com/redmeat/current/index.html

and, if you haven't already checked THIS one out, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT!--
http://marsrovers.jpl.nasa.gov/home/index.html
2 Rovers on Mars, transmitting pix & science info @ the same time!! THIS IS THE SHIT, BABY!

howzabout this for your worst nightmare? you're getting ready to go to work in the morning, and uh-oh! your house is being swallowed by the Earth! "My husband was freaking out," Shannon Hargis told The Orlando Sentinel.
http://ap.tbo.com/ap/florida/MGAQ04897QD.html

and, one from the "Archives", as they say--
 The REAL Bullgod Speaks

1st impression of the D-man's new show [Dennis Miller on MSNBC]-- alright, D-man! not just "quips'n'quotes" & easy shots at BIG TARGETS, but REAL, reasoned, intellectual discussion! what about the WMD issue of TRANS-SHIPMENT? Look @ Syria, Lebanon, and all other nations in the Mid-East that could have served as POS [Points Of Shipment] for any compartmentalized WMD labs, "holding tanks", etc. How many months of prior warning did they need?!! hats off, I guess, to Mo'ammar Qadaffi[sp?], for taking his country "out of the loop"-- guess he didn't want to get any more involved than he has to be, in this F***ed-up, Situation Normal!?

an ongoing story--

CAN'T IMMEDIATELY RECALL WHERE I FOUND THIS STORY-- COULD BE
http://worldpress.org/?

here are some relevant excerpts-- you know my philosophy about genocidal despots-- KILL'EMALL!!!

"But when I chatted with the German officers inside, they seemed more to be sightseeing than carrying out a sophisticated military operation, even if getting to Celebici takes some resolve and a lot of bouncing around on a challenging path.

They admitted that most SFOR troops knew very little about Bosnia and were hardly equipped for, or looking forward to, a vigorous action of the sort necessary to bag Karadzic.

Like Osama bin Laden, Karadzic is well-known and physically distinctive: a tall man with a big belly, a dimpled chin and a dramatic grey bouffant.

The evidence suggests that Americans and their Western allies have simply given up the hunt.

Compared with famous current and recent fugitives, such as bin Laden and Saddam Hussein, it is arguable that Karadzic wins the odiousness sweepstakes.

A remarkably public front man for genocide in the former Yugoslavia, the disarmingly avuncular Karadzic dispensed lies to packed media conferences while his soldiers laid siege to Sarajevo (where he previously worked at the main hospital) and went from village to village, locking families inside houses and setting them on fire, bringing women to detention camps where they could be mass-raped.

Like Saddam, he is a genocidal murderer.

Among Bosnian Muslims, constant speculation and conspiracy theories abound - especially the belief that international leaders do not want Karadzic caught.

NATO became slightly more aggressive and caught some war criminals after General Wesley Clark took over in 1997, but did not get Karadzic and never seemed willing to risk a single casualty.

Everyone in Bosnia, it seems, can describe with certainty Karadzic's current circumstances. Want to know how he is protected? Karadzic is guarded at all times by 90 heavily armed, itchy-fingered veterans. Wait. Take two: He is largely on his own, with a tiny entourage. His location? He lives in the woods. Correction: He lives in an apartment in a small city. His cover? He goes about disguised as a priest. Um, actually, he has had plastic surgery. What about his family relations? He has not seen his wife in years. Wrong: he sees her regularly.

Each contingent has a reputation. US troops - now just 1500, all national guardsmen, dentists from Ohio and labourers from New York - are not exactly Special Forces quality and tend to stay close to base. Italian and French troops like to live it up and are perhaps too cosy with some locals.

The British are the most enthusiastic about actually doing something. And, given their experience among a hostile, armed population in Northern Ireland, they are the best prepared and show it through deft use of intelligence and of lightning-fast raids. So far, they have apprehended most of the war criminals - half of the 24 arrests officially reported by SFOR so far have come in their zone.

But the areas where Bosnians suspect Karadzic is hiding are controlled by Italian, French, and German troops, none of whom seem eager to fire their guns.

The French, technically in charge of the area, have been historically close to the Serbs and opposed the creation of The Hague tribunal. Their personnel have already been accused on several occasions of compromising operations.

His cronies spend about $US200,000 a month protecting him, according to foreign diplomats. A sort of medieval tithing system, enforced by tough guys, includes a tax collected by civilians carrying police identification and skimmed profits from foreign electricity sales.

Today, despite its professed commitment to tracking down dangerous tyrants and doing the right thing, the Bush Administration parses the vague, malleable notion of "national security" to make one monster fair game and another irrelevant.

In the end, Karadzic, a war criminal of virtually unsurpassed atrociousness who continues to destabilise a volatile region, is allowed to roam free - not because we can't get him but because we have chosen not to."

buzzpage.com touted this link as a really bad toy idea... indeed--
http://noisydisco.free.fr/kaba-kick.jpg

and you thought the days of russo-american nuclear tension were over-- welp, they just couldn't give up the atomic toys'r'us division of their military, it seems...
http://www.moscowtimes.ru/stories/2004/02/02/001.html

more from n.korea-- "...prison guards stamp on the necks of babies born to prisoners to kill them... first-hand testimonies from North Korean defectors have detailed execution and torture... the walls of Camp 22 hide an even more evil secret: gas chambers where horrific chemical experiments are conducted on human beings."
http://www.mg.co.za/Content/l3.asp?ao=30463&t=1

updated exploding sperm whale story, w/small photo--
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/3437455.stm
&
basically the same update, with a larger version of same photo--
http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2004/01/29/1075340760914.html

and what newsday would be complete w/out "Cannibals in the News"? forgive me for sounding disillusioned, and/or slightly bitter, but with all the work I have done, and more to come, all this guy has to do is kill & eat a deranged manager, and he's "... considering lucrative offers for film and book rights to his gruesome story..." sheesh! wotta business! here are some more delightful [sarcasm thick'n'intended] excerpts-- "... the cannibal smiled when he heard the 'mild verdict', as if someone 'had just served him a delicious pudding'. With good behaviour, Meiwes is likely to be freed in 2008... There was, his lawyer indicated, no reason why he shouldn't return to the rambling, timbered farmhouse in Rotenburg, a short drive from Kassel, where he killed Brandes and fried him in garlic, burying his skull in the garden... Meiwes showed Brandes the 'slaughter room' he had constructed upstairs. Later that evening Meiwes cut off Brandes's penis which both men then tried -- and failed -- to eat; a scene that Hollywood would surely struggle to portray... Meiwes laid his unconscious victim on the slaughter table and stabbed him. He hung the body on a hook, cut out some of his organs and went to bed. The cannibal filmed the entire episode... So far the cannibal appears to relish the media sensation his case has aroused -- and to have a sense of humour. In an interview with two journalists who spoke to him him on the eve of his trial, Meiwes began by saying: 'Don't worry. I won't eat you.' He then revealed that after killing Brandes he cooked him in olive oil, garlic, pepper and nutmeg, and ate him with sprouts, Princess potatoes and a bottle of South African red wine on a festively decorated table. Meiwes also told the magazine he used one of his victim's feet as a table ornament and had tried to make flour by grating an arm-bone after first baking it in the oven."
http://www.mg.co.za/Content/l3.asp?ao=30464

1/28/04 - Wanna read something REALLY scary? "...millions of people around the world could die...mutation at the molecular level... two viruses could meet and mutate... China reported that 14,000 ducks were slaughtered... Australia has introduced 100 per cent screening of travellers arriving from Asia, using X-ray, sniffer dogs or physical examination... the deaths of between 5 million and 10 million chickens from the bird flu since August... no evidence a cull would prove effective in containing the spread of the virus, despite WHO advice to the contrary... the disease could spread from chickens to pigs, speeding transmission of the virus to humans. "This would be a disaster," said a WHO adviser, Dr Prasert Phongcharoen..."
http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2004/01/27/1075088028270.html

2 "snakes in the news" items today-- "Mom, I don't think I want to eat even ONE..."
http://www.ajc.com/news/content/news/0104/27snake.html
&
and you thought worrying about anthrax in the mail was bad-- apparently, these guys have a different idea about what a "lemon law" is supposed to accomplish--
http://www.abcnews4.com/news/stories/0104/121806.html

Yo! da' Chief just wants everyone to know that he supports small businesses in the Runnemede area! He's really BEHIND women's  entrepreneurism. He'll bend over backwards to help out girls in need.
http://www.nbc10.com/news/2795270/detail.html

horrible, horrible-- alcohol abuse at its worst-- when Iron Maiden fans go wrong--
http://www.wjla.com/news/stories/0104/121525.html

"RRAAWWWKKKK! Polly wants an agent, a dictionary, a thesaurus, and a word processor! SKWAAWWKK! I'll write my own screenplay for my movie of the week!"
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/3430481.stm

lessee-- "Dat's Right, Judge! I'm the King Bee!" or "Killer Bee Invades Courtroom, Promises a 'Honey of a Trial'"--
http://abcnews.go.com/wire/US/ap20040126_457.html

this is NOT an approved use of duct tape, and could result in a "violent reaction", mushroom clouds, the "China Syndrome", or other "potentially unacceptable consequences"-- NOTE! DO NOT DRILL INTO NUCLEAR WARHEAD!
http://www.cnn.com/2004/US/Southwest/01/24/nuclear.plant/index.html

"remember ma'am, you can see the cows, but they can't see you. when we bring them in, point out the one that did the damage to your car." authorities say the cow was not mad, just clumsy...
http://customwire.ap.org/dynamic/stories/C/COW_CLEARED?SITE=FLTAM&SECTION=ENTERTAINMENT

"oh God, he stole the handle..."
http://news.scotsman.com/latest.cfm?id=2444536

kinda funstuff on this guy's pages--
http://www.jasonschock.com/gangsta/index.php

hopefully, the boys @ JPL will continue to make progress in re-establishing useful contact w/Spirit-- here's to Happy Landings for Opportunity, later tonight...

1/21/04 - now, is that in addition to the one he already had down there? was he hoping to keep his "little friend" company? or is this a new seafood-sex fad that will soon sweep the nation, right after the mud shark? [hats off to FZ, once again]
 http://customwire.ap.org/dynamic/stories/S/SHRIMP_THEFT?SITE=FLTAM&SECTION=ENTERTAINMENT

oh, those Ohio cops-- heh heh-- whatta sense of humor they have-- I just wonder if Inner Circle will be reaping any additional royalties for the use of their big hit--
 http://customwire.ap.org/dynamic/stories/C/COPS_CAR?SITE=FLTAM&SECTION=ENTERTAINMENT

and the Russian Army pulled it off! heroic divers, 10 men w/power saws, plus the previously-mentioned [see 1/20/04 BadgerLOG] T-72 tank all played a part in the daring rescue of 20, 000 pounds of beer in kegs-- to be sold @ a discount... good job, men!
 http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/3414593.stm

foul-mouthed parrot reputed to have once belonged to Churchill found- or maybe not? 104-year-old Charlie still rants, raves, & rails against nazis, but did he REALLY belong to Winston C.?
http://www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems/s1028156.htm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/3414323.stm

ahh, an era is coming to an end in Japan's hoochie clubs-- no more panties for you, missah perv! what would Zappa think about guys paying up to 10,000 yen [$93.28] for items he used to get tossed onstage for free to make a "tour quilt"?
http://www.japantoday.com/e/?content=news&cat=2&id=285418

mad chimp on the loose! 9,000 evacked from LA Zoo! Slippery Gracie gives Houdini a run for his money!
http://www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems/s1028803.htm

former right-wing paramilitary commander [Giovanni Marin] surrenders, speaks before Colombian Congress... "The right-wing AUC... were also accused of numerous killings of noncombatants and... kidnappings...'We committed some really painful acts in our past.'
Nonetheless, Marin said his group also protected citizens in some of Medellin's poorest neighborhoods. The right-wing AUC arose in the 1980s to battle leftist rebels who have been fighting the government for nearly 40 years, and is accused of some of the worst human rights atrocities in the nation's civil war."
how long before the rest of the rogue outfits, right & left, stop spreading terror, killing peasants, destabilizing governments, and pumping cocaine north?
http://ap.tbo.com/ap/breaking/MGAC504SOPD.html

in [somewhat] lighter news, you can make all sorts of new laws prohibiting them, but soccer hooligans will always find a way to muck things up-- they're getting a bit more clever, it seems-- sneaking into games wearing "civilian" clothes, getting seats close to their rivals, then, well, it's the same old story-- "you can take the hooligan outta the riot [for a little while], but you can't take the riot outta the hooligan [ever]..."
http://www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems/s1027561.htm

hooray for the Russian Army! diligently working to rescue a deep-sixed load of ice-cold brewski! this is important for morale, not to mention maintaining the rep they've built worldwide as hard-partying, take-no-guff hardheads! if it takes a T-72 tank to retrieve 10 tons of beer, then, by Putin, we'll bring in a T-72!
 http://money.cnn.com/2004/01/20/news/funny/army_saves_beer.reut/

1/19/04 - oh, this is bad- this is very bad-- possible "exorcism gone wrong" in Atlanta-- "fire up the irons, boys, we got us some demons to get rid of in this here child..."
http://ap.tbo.com/ap/breaking/MGAI9SM3NPD.html

and here's one about even MORE craziness in Georgia-- gambling, drugs, barbaric cruelty, guns, violence, big money, blood-- in Covington, they let it ALL hang out!
http://www.guardian.co.uk/uslatest/story/0,1282,-3644109,00.html

lest you think madness is a strictly Western affliction, howzabout this one-- "Failed Japanese Chicken Farmer Turned Whore-Slayer Used to Manage Train Station"...
http://mdn.mainichi.co.jp/news/20040119p2a00m0dm011001c.html

a couple of "no B.S." stories--

haw haw haw! "just stand right there, yes, that's right, and hold out your hands-- you will soon be a rich man-- don't mind the smell..." not to insult anyone's religion, but you might say "Holy Cow!" about this story--
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/3410955.stm

man, I like a good, strong cup of cawfee as much as the next guy, but THIS is just plain NUTS! "Kopi Luwak" or " Civet Coffee"-- that's right, the same felines that have been slaughtered by the thousands, due to the fear of transmission of SARS produce, well... you have to read it to believe it--
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/3409359.stm

I know some people take sports VERY seriously, but this is ridiculous-- first we get guys knocking mascots silly w/baseball bats, now this--
http://customwire.ap.org/dynamic/stories/H/HKC_MASCOT_LOSES_HEAD?SITE=FLTAM&SECTION=ENTERTAINMENT
and, coming up to the wire, thorax 'n' thorax, it looks like the winner will be-- CRUNCH!!
http://reuters.com/newsArticle.jhtml;jsessionid=D5RPVXULYRBTMCRBAEZSFFA?type=ourWorldNews&storyID=4158574

more laffs, more wackiness, more fun than you can shake a rabid badger @
UPDATE TO FOTOFUNNIES PAGE 9!

1/16/04 - Ozzy's home, though he's in a great deal of pain & having trouble sleeping... Get Well Soon, "Iron Man"!

got to watch those actual swordfighting scenes, fellas... seems Tom Cruise coulda lost his head--
 http://www.guardian.co.uk/japan/story/0,7369,1124259,00.html

dude, some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed... "dude, where's your stash?" "awww man, i think i left it in those pants i loaned to Clyde-- hope he finds it before he goes to court..."
 http://www.boston.com/news/odd/articles/2004/01/16/man_tosses_bag_of_marijuana_into_security_tray/

bummer! one of my favorite curmudgeonly(sp?) actors-- busted! but you gotta love the headline-- "Ripped Torn Crashes Car"
 http://www.eonline.com/News/Items/0,1,13278,00.html

have a good weekend, all!

1/15/04 - Mohamed Kamal Mustafa is in deep doo-doo in Barcelona, where a court convicted him of promoting wife-beating [based on his interpretation of passages from the koran]... here's a quote from his work- "If one needs to use blows, they should be administered to specific parts of the body like the feet and hands, using a light and thin stick so it will not leave scars or bruising on the body..." Seems that he was specifically intending to help fellas "keep it on the sly"... yes, he is an imam, one of the "elders" of his sect of islam-- wonder if he's been trading tips with some of the stern disciplinarians at some of our own Bible-based boarding schools?

man, for sheer laffs, it doesn't get much better than this-- in Belgium, as reported by Reuters and the Belga news agency, 2 rabbit poachers were prepared for almost anything-- their "armor-plated getaway car was equipped with... metal plates to stop bullets... an automated box ready to spring tire traps to slow pursuers... a halogen lamp on the outside to blind their prey... shielded the car's number plates with lead sheeting to avoid identification... a device to eject two old bicycles fixed on the back of the car on to the road as an obstacle to any vehicle in hot pursuit..." Caught with 14 wild rabbits, there was no mention of HOW they were apprehended, since they had apparently foreseen any obstacle-- maybe they had forgotten to increase the horsepower of the vehicle to compensate for all the extra weight...

oh boy! one of my favorite continuing news stories! A quote from NASA's Rover site-- "JPL engineers played Baha Men's "Who Let the Dogs Out" in the control room as they watched new images confirming that the Mars Exploration Rover Spirit successfully rolled off its lander platform early Thursday morning." ho ho ho-- those engineers are a bunch of wild, rowdy party hounds!! WHOOP-WHOOP---- WHOOP-WHOOP-WHOOP!!

and here comes a whole new batch of fotofunnies- these 1st two are from the Milan men's fashion week-- no captions necessary, write your own jokes, folks...

 FOTOFUNNIES 2004!

"if you look to your left, just beyond the animatronic hippo, you'll see a vicious Haitian commander who tortured & murdered innocent women and children..." how'd you like to be on a boat ride at Disney World and hear this? Seems that a thug from Haiti was employed by the tourist watercraft division for several years...

"Jean-Claude Duperval... He was convicted in 2000 for the deaths of some 25 men, women and children... Some were tortured and forced to lie in open sewers. Others were shot as they tried to flee... Rena Langley [Disney spokesperson] said 'He was considered a good employee,' adding that Disneyland had had 'no knowledge of his background' while he worked there."
complete story @
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/3401775.stm

update on AA pilot- here's the photo! 12 grand seems a little steep, don't it?
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/040115/photos_wl/mdf446904

1/14/04 - Well, let's see-- after reading some of the postings on PETA's website concerning Ted Nugent's chainsaw accident [Get Well Soon, MCM], their skewed interpretations of "karma" & warped sense of poetic justice [after all, he was working on a TREE], some posters' apparent delight in his injury & pain [such comments as "yay!", "wish he woulda slipped and cut off his own head", etc.] and lots of generalized stupidity, it comes to mind that some of these alleged "peaceful vegans/vegetarians" are just as bent & twisted as some of us omnivores, when it comes to their agenda, and apparent thirst for some sort of vengeance... I'm reminded of one of my late Father's favorite humorous websites [don't know if it's still out there-- I'll have to check it out, later] which was entitled:
P.eople E.ating T.asty A.nimals...

some cool stuff from the BBC's Science page yesterday regarding the enhancement of old digital photos from Soviet-era Venus probes...

also from the BBC yesterday, a story about the 1st "heavy metal" concert in post-saddam Baghdad-- had to love the headline-- "It's only Iraq'n'roll, but I like it."

some of the wives of members of islamic fundamentalist jihad groups [read terrorist bombmakers & murderers of innocent tourists, etc.] admit to being working members of the groups, functioning as couriers, financial conduits, communications facilitators, etc.-- IMAGINE THAT! [tones of mock amazement/astonishment]

how will GM maize crops in Europe affect insect and animal species? stay tuned for a possible mutation near you!

noticed that the good Dr. Thompson posted his 1st column on ESPN.com since he broke his leg in Hawaii-- glad to see it, I always feel my newsweek is incomplete w/out a HST article... Get Well Soon, you cantankerous old man of American Letters!

12 Grand for flipping someone off?! Dale Robbin Hirsh, American Airlines pilot, got the raw deal on that one in Brazil-- bad taste at the security checkpoint, maybe- obscene? NOT!

Slightest Touch [feminine orgasm stimulator/initiator]-- at $139.95, will it put gigolos out of business?

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